Feb. 19th, 2011 05:32 pm
(This is re: this post).

1. Written a large (>1000 lines) program in Factor.

Nada. I don't even know Factor yet.

2. Written an optimizing C0 compiler in Scheme.

Started! I have a git repo and everything :)

3. Written a jitting C0 bytecode VM in C.


4. Read twenty new books.

"The Caryatids" by Bruce Sterling
"DMZ" by Brian Wood
"Zodiac" by Neal Stephenson
"Radical Priorities" by Noam Chomsky
"Nothing to Envy" by Barbara Demick
"It's A Jungle Out There: The Feminist Survival Guide To Politically Inhospitable Environments" by Amanda Marcotte

I feel like there are more of these, but guessing is complicated by the fact that I buy a lot of my books on dead trees these days. I'm currently 2/3 of the way through "Wireless" by Charles Stross, after which I will read "The Queue" by Vladimir Sorokin.

5. Volunteered for something that matters to me.


6. Met five new people.

One so far - a coworker. Not sure if this even counts.

7. Gotten rid of everything I can't fit into a duffel bag and a backpack (possessions that can walk and take care of themselves exempted.)

Not really. I'm hoping this mostly happens incidentally when I move out of my apartment.
One year from today (December 7, 2011), I will have:

1. Written a large (>1000 lines) program in Factor.
2. Written an optimizing C0 compiler in Scheme.
3. Written a jitting C0 bytecode VM in C.
4. Read twenty new books.
5. Volunteered for something that matters to me.
6. Met five new people.
7. Gotten rid of everything I can't fit into a duffel bag and a backpack (possessions that can walk and take care of themselves exempted.)

I'll get back to you all in a year.
I have a pet. I can't even really describe how this makes me feel, so I'm going to try fumbling around with words for a bit and see if anything coherent emerges.

People who are kink-aware might want to skip over the next bit

Liz and I, like many people, have a relationship that incorporates the giving and taking of power as an important component. In our relationship the transfer of power is somewhat overt - I am the dominant partner and Liz is the submissive partner (usually!) and this is the way we both enjoy it. Liz enjoys being... well, dominated, for want of a better term - having a partner that is more confident and powerful than she is. I enjoy being that partner. This isn't an (emotionally or physically) abusive relationship - the key difference is that we decided (with full knowledge and consent of both of us) that this was what we wanted, and Liz and I both always retain the power to drop that aspect of our relationship and talk as equal partners any time we like.

Start reading here, if you skipped

Recently, we... formalized that aspect of our relationship. The only useful analogy I can think of is of getting married; of intentionally creating a long-term commitment to a partner one cares deeply about. I gave Liz a collar (shown in the picture I linked to above); the collar marks her as my pet and property, and makes me her owner. I can't really think of how to describe how this makes me feel except to say that I love her very deeply and now I get to hold her and protect her in a much more profound way than I ever did before. There is something gut-wrenchingly powerful about waking up next to a sleeping person who relies on you to put order and structure and safety into her world, and seeing that she is wearing the symbol of that relationship on her neck as a way of honoring it.

I've been grinning like an idiot constantly since.

Other stuff happened recently; I'll write about it when I'm more coherent.


Jul. 9th, 2010 02:17 am
A lot has happened to me in the past week, and I've felt like writing for some time. This is basically a lifelog entry dealing with Google orientation and the effect of sickness on my gender presentation.

July 1: Left home, and theoretically ended my dependence on my parents altogether. They're in Australia for a while, which has helped to make the separation cleaner somehow. Moved into my new apartment properly; got a really awesome Tempurpedic mattress, which is one of the most comfortable things ever. Got a library card - the Cambridge public library is really quite something, and has its own cafe and free wifi access. Found an excellent grocery store, and provisioned myself with vegetarian food. Got dinner at Border Cafe in Cambridge with two of my partners; they helped calm me down quite a bit.

July 2: Actually got my bed assembled and stuff. Went out to dinner at Fire and Ice in Cambridge, which is this incredible build-your-own-stirfry restaurant; very highly recommended if ever you're in the area.

July 3: joshua_ took me flying in a little four-seater Piper Warrior. We did a circle around Boston's airspace, although they wouldn't let us fly over the city proper because there was a game going on at Fenway. Still very cool, and the views were unmatched; the photos I took with his camera are lying around somewhere. Unfortunately, just after we landed, I got a call from American Airlines (I bet you can guess how this goes...) informing me that my flight to Mountain View for training had been moved from July 4 11am to July 4 6am, meaning I wouldn't have time to sleep before leaving for Logan Airport. I ended up rushing my packing job and not leaving my apartment as clean as I'd like, which means I will probably find bugs of some kind when I return.

July 4: Got to the airport, etc etc etc. 11 hours in the air. At the beginning of this dance, I noticed that the back of my throat was feeling somewhat raw, but failed to interpret this as a sign of what was actually to come. Fortunately, I also found out on this day that my orientation didn't begin until the 7th, due to the Independence Day celebrations. This was good, because...

July 5 & 6: Completely flattened by the worst case of strep throat I've ever had. An interaction with the doctor: "Well, the rapid test came back negative, so let's get a look at that thr-oh, wow!" I was literally reduced to lying flat on my back in bed, trying to avoid swallowing because it made me nearly double up in pain. Fortunately, ttuttle showed up to be completely and totally helpful; his support, along with a timely delivery of medicine by thebaron, have kept me sane and together through being sick. I also got some fairly strong antibiotics at a clinic near my hotel, which have been helping.

July 7 & 8: Orientation. I'm not actually flattened any more, but the sickness saps my energy and willpower, which are things I need to maintain my expressed femininity (i.e.: if I'm really tired, or don't have the time to put into maintaining my appearance, my externalized femininity takes a nosedive, which is a really unfortunate time to meet people). To make matters worse, my voice was all messed up (specifically, sounded like I was talking through a mouthful of glue), and I couldn't swallow any solid food.

What I find kind of striking is that none of this diminished the awesome. Google is just an incredible place; the entire organization seems to be exceptional from top to bottom. The internal stuff is mostly just as polished as the external stuff, and it's all used so well. I'm really excited about my project, and very much looking forward to starting work proper at Google Cambridge.

Ongoing annoyance: my Google badge has my legal name on it, and people keep reading the name off it to introduce themselves to me. Hopefully less of a problem once I'm out of the orientation phase of my life.

Ongoing annoyance 2: lingering symptoms from this strep attack. Throat still hurts; nose still blocked. At least it's getting better.

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